Edward Takes the Cake
by Mint Pizza Queen
Summary: A short collection of drabbles centered around the misadventures of Roy and Edward around home, the office, and even at parties. RoyEd. [COMPLETED]
1. Drabble the First

**A/N:** Surprise! I bet you're all like "Wtf?" right now, and I have a very good reason for posting this! This is a whole other short drabble series consisting of only 15 drabbles. All RoyEd implied, in their own little ways. What is special by these drabbles is all of these are inspired by comics found in the "Garfield takes the cake" comic book volume five. Each drabble that I post (which will be one each night) will have an author's note stating which page the comic that inspired that certain drabble is on. So, if you have this same book, you can sort of follow to see where I got my inspiration! Kay? Alright, this first one is inspired by bottom comic on page 4. You follow? Let's see if it's so.

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Drabble the First  
**Edward just couldn't resist. The temptation was just _too much_ for one kid to bear, so he gave in (obviously). 

He slipped off his shoes, along with his socks with a mischievous grin. He rolled up his pants legs so they were at his knees.

He approached the doorway and peeked inside. He saw Roy painting the floor. He grinned again. _Now was the time._

---

Roy dipped the paintbrush into the paint and sighed. Just a little bit more paint on the corner and he would be finished.

He reached out with an extended arm to put on the final touches when he heard the pattering of feet. He looked up to see Edward running across his freshly painted floor.

Just as quickly as he came, the blonde was gone. Roy blinked and looked at the floor. Every spot that Ed's feet touched the paint was wiped clean and revealed the old floor color underneath.

As he followed the trail, he saw that the trail led into the next room where the paint trail left painted footsteps all over the floor. Roy gritted his teeth.

"EDWARD!"

Oh yeah, annoying Roy was just too much fun.

**-Fin-**


	2. Drabble the Second

**A/N:** This one is inspired by the comic on page five, the bottom strip. n.n

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Drabble the Second  
**Edward learned quickly that the best time to get Roy all fired up was in the early morning when he was getting ready for work. 

That's how he ended up in the bathroom at six in the morning with a black magic marker and had the goofiest grin on his face. He was standing on his tip-toes with that same black marker in front of the mirror drawing with precise detail and a careful hand.

He suddenly heard the bed creak in the bedroom and quickly put on the final touches. He ran out of the bathroom just as Roy walked in with a yawn.

Roy stood in front of the mirror and blinked sleepily. Then it hit him…

The reflection of him had a big, bushy beard, a mustache, a mono-brow, and a decent sized afro.

Roy sighed. Mornings just weren't his forte.

**-Fin-**


	3. Drabble the Third

**A/N:** This drabble is inspired by the comic strips on pages 19-20.

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Drabble the Third  
**"Edward, I've been thinking," Roy hung up the towel that Edward had used in his shower and turned to the boy as he continued, "Maybe you should cut your hair." 

Edward instantly dropped his comb into the sink. He turned and gaped. "Whatever for?"

Roy then pointed to the drain in the shower with a smug grin. Ed peeked in and sweatdropped. The drain was to the point of being completely clogged.

"Well, I didn't get a chance to clean the drain yet!"

Roy took out a pair of scissors from the drawer and grinned at the boy. "Come on, Ed. Just a few inches and that's all."

"B-b-but…" Edward backed into the wall, "the braid, the long hair, it's part of me! Literally! If you take it away from me, you'll be taking away my trademark! I'll be like a cat without the claws; the skunk without the stench, a fan girl without the spazz, you can't do that!"

Roy blinked. "You know, I never thought of that." He tossed the scissors into the drawer and grinned. "Ed, I'm sorry I tried to give you a haircut. Let's forgive and forget, 'kay?"

_Snip._

Edward triumphantly held up a large chunk of Roy's black hair between his fingers. Roy gaped.

"I'll settle for forgive."

**-Fin-**


	4. Drabble the Fourth

**A/N:** You can thank my cat for this extra update. She kept yelling at me. Seriously, she did. Page twenty two (22), top comic.

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Drabble**** the Fourth**

Edward watched as Roy straightened up his bow tie. Roy was going on another date, it seemed, and Ed would be stuck at home. Not that he minded or anything…the underwear drawer was just full of surprises.

"You know, Edward," Roy began as he slicked back his hair," I think it's time you get a girlfriend of your own."

"Oh?"

Roy nodded. "I can help you on dating, you know. Just watch me in action sometime."

Ed snickered. "Oh, I have."

"And what did you learn?"  
_  
Another snicker._ "A lot." Edward began counting off on his fingers. "Make a comment, get slapped. Make a suggestion, get slapped. Make a move, get slapped. Make a—"

"Okay, I get it." Roy scowled. "So you think you can do better than me?"

"Oh no, I know I can do better than you can. It's just I don't want to get slapped around like you. Besides, I don't feel like devoting myself to something that I'll probably end up fleeing from."

**-Fin-**


	5. Drabble the Fifth

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay in updates. School shopping SUCKS. This drabble was inspired by the second comic on page 64.

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Drabble**** the Fifth**

It was one of those mornings where one rushed around the house getting ready for work and have a speedy breakfast. Unfortunately, for two certain males in that house, the usual speedy breakfast-at-hand was a box of donuts that only had one left inside…

Ed and Roy grabbed for the box at the same time only to find one donut inside. Their eyes met.

"You know, Ed, there are two of us and one donut. Let's share it."

Edward nodded. Roy took his hand off the box only to have Ed fling the top off and devour the donut whole.

Roy blinked. "Uh, where's my half?"

Ed pointed to the now empty box. "Look closely, Roy, I left the hole for you."

With that, the blonde dashed out the door.

**-Fin-**


	6. Drabble the Sixth

**A/N:** Another update. Inspired by the bottom comic on page 58.

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Drabble**** the Sixth**

_Squeak._

Riza looked up from her desk. Her eyes shifted back and forth. That sound, it could only mean one thing…

_A slacker._

_Squeak._

"Colonel Mustang, if you don't stop leaning back in that chair and get back to work, I'm coming in there!"

Roy blinked up from his desk. He was right in the middle of signing another document. "Uh, Hawkeye? I'm not leaning back in my chair…"

_Squeak._

"Don't you lie to me! I hear it squeaking again and I'm coming in there!"

Roy looked under his desk and glared at the grinning blonde. "Edward, for now on, before you sneak into my office through the window, make sure you oil your automail. You're going to get me into a situation which involves my ass full of lead and my office walls full of bullet holes."

"Love you, Roy." Edward put on an innocent smile as he kissed Roy on the forehead.

**-Fin-**


	7. Drabble the Seventh

**A/N: **Back with a few more. Just a reply, **Hikari-Aoi**, there is going to be a total of 15 drabbles in this series. n.n Heehee. Anyway, this drabble is inspired by the comic on page 54. Also, if anyone wants to know more about upcoming stories and fics and stuff from me, visit my homepage! n.n It contains info on my fan fiction and news on when I will be updating next and stuff.

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**Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Drabble the Seventh**

Edward always envied Roy for that chair. It was a comfortable chair, and when he did get a chance to sit in it, Roy had kicked him out of it two seconds later.

_Well, at least it was a wonderful two seconds of bliss._

Edward looked up from his book and his eyes instantly flew open. The chair…no one was in it. He looked around cautiously. Roy wasn't in the room. Now was the moment, now was his one and only chance…

_Now was the time to claim the chair!  
_  
Edward scooted across the floor and hopped up into the overstuffed chair and instantly fell into a blissful state. He sighed happily. He sunk into it slightly and grinned.

"I now declare that this chair is now the sole property of Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist…"

"And I say move it. That is my chair."

Edward glared at Roy. "My chair."

Roy clenched his hands into fists. "My chair."

Edward clung to the arms of the chair. "My chair."

Roy ran behind the chair and began to shake it. "MY CHAIR!"

Edward continued to cling to it. "MY CHAIR!"

Finally, Roy took his foot and kicked the back of the object that was the center of attention only to send both Edward and the cushion flying across the room. Quickly, Roy plopped down onto the chair. He narrowed his eyes at the blonde. "My chair."

Edward glared back. "My cushion."

**-Fin-**


	8. Drabble the Eighth

**A/N:** I realized I haven't been working on this series for some time, so I want to finish up this series and hopefully get my mind focused back onto **_Hysterics Boulevard_** and hopefully finish the others I started. :D Anyway, this one is from page twenty-two (22) again, this time the second comic strip on the page. Enjoy!

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Drabble**** the Eighth**

It was a lousy week for Roy's dating streak. Actually, he didn't get a single date at all. It seemed that getting a girl was futile for the man.

Roy stood in front of the mirror in the men's room and looked at himself pondering what could keep him from getting a girl. Subconsciously, he reached down to a bottle of cologne he had brought in and put on just enough to feel refreshed after the shave he just gave himself.

Suddenly, he heard the sound of loud footsteps approaching the room fast. He raised an eyebrow, but didn't move towards the door afraid of being run over by the source of the galloping.

The door flew open and there stood a certain blonde alchemist, nose twitching as he sniffed the air. His gold eyes scanned the room and fell onto Roy. A grin spread on his face as he dashed across the tiles and leaped up into the man's arms.

"You smell _goooooood_."

If Roy didn't know any better, he swore he heard purring…

**-Fin-**


	9. Drabble the Ninth

**A/N:** This one is from page twenty-eight (28), the top comic strip.

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Drabble**** the Ninth**

Roy approached his apartment with the bags of groceries he had just purchased on his way home from work. He reached into his pocket and fumbled to find his house keys. Finally grasping the cool metal, he pulled them out and unlocked the door.

After shoving them back into his pocket and getting a better grasp on the brown paper bags, he pushed open the door and looked around. No lights were on, so it was obvious his roommate was taking a nap.

Roy reached over to the switch next to the door, flipped the switch on, and marched inside loudly. "Edward, I'm—"

_Thump.  
_  
"—home…" Roy muffled from the carpet as he pushed himself up from the floor. He turned his head and was face to face with a grinning blonde, whom was laying oh-so comfortably on his legs.

"Gotcha again, Roy."

**-Fin-**


	10. Drabble the Tenth

**A/N:** This one totally cracked me up. I collaborated this one with my sister, cause obviously, I don't think you'll see Edward scuba diving in punch anytime soon…oO At least, I hope not. This one is from page twenty-eight (28), the bottom comic strip.

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield. And in this case, I also don't own Jaws. n.n

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**Drabble**** the Tenth**

Roy grinned at the woman who was seated across from him. She smiled at him and winked as she sunk slightly in the hot tub.

The steam from the tub made the room slightly foggy, but it didn't hinder visibility a lot. Roy was able to see the fine details of the woman's face and the straps to her bikini were tied in a neat little bow behind her neck.

Roy wiggled his eyebrows and the woman giggled. She sat up and leaned forward. Roy leaned forward at the same time.

Right when they were a good foot apart, the most bizarre thing happened. A snorkel popped up out of the water and stood out of the water for a moment. Both Roy and his date stared at the object for a moment before it scooted across the tub towards the edge and stopped. A hand popped out of the water and pressed the 'play' button on the portable radio and the theme song for Jaws began to instantly play.

The woman screeched and slapped Roy before grabbing her clothes. She marched out the premises without another word.

Roy sat stunned for a moment before finally regaining his senses. He gritted his teeth.

"EDWARD!"

Ed's blonde head instantly popped out of the water, snorkel in his mouth and goggles slightly fogged.

"Hiyah, Roy!"

**-Fin-**


	11. Drabble the Eleventh

**A/N:** This one highly amused me while writing it. Not my fault I love these two together. XD This one was inspired by the comic on page thirty-one (31), bottom comic strip.

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Drabble**** the Eleventh**

Roy looked up from reading the newspaper to the source of the sudden snore. It was Edward, who had seemingly fallen asleep on the couch while reading an alchemy book.

The man rose from his chair, approached the boy, and just stared at him for a minute. Expecting a golden eye to appear and glare, the man waited for the smack. _None came._

Roy poked the boy a couple times, only to receive a louder snore. He tapped the boy with his foot, yet no sign of any irritation came from the boy. He was in a blissful nap.

The dark haired alchemist dropped the newspaper onto the stand beside the couch and grabbed the boy's legs. He tugged. _Still no struggle._

He tugged the boy harder, and eventually ended up pulling him off the couch with a '_thud'_. Edward stirred slightly, only to grumble incoherently and resume snoring.

Roy grinned, and instantly began dragging the boy across the living room floor. He pulled him throughout the kitchen onto the cold floor and stopped by the front door.

_Tempting…_

Roy swung open the door and instantly dragged Edward outside and across the lawn. When a group of passing people stopped to observe the scene, Roy only dragged the snoring boy over and held the blonde up by an automail foot.

"When Edward naps, he naps hard."

_"Zzz."_

**-Fin-**


	12. Drabble the Twelfth

**A/N:** Inspired by the comic on page 31, top strip.

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Drabble**** the Twelfth**

Roy snuggled deeply into the comfortable warmth that was called a 'bed'. It was Saturday…no work…Hallelujah.

Roy was about to fall into another deep slumber when he felt the bed he was currently in start bouncing violently up and down. He looked up to see Edward jumping up and down at the foot of the bed with a slightly panicked look on his face.

"Roy! Roy! There's something going on outside!"

Roy instantly shot up from his bed and ran downstairs with his trusty gloves at hand. He charged out the front door to find absolutely nothing. Not a soul was around. He scowled.

Marching back to his bedroom to give the blonde a piece of his mind, Roy slipped his gloves off and tossed them onto the table as he walked through the kitchen to the stairway.

When he reached his room, he was one blonde short. Blinking, he realized that the person wasn't missing; he was _hiding_.

On closer observation, Roy realized that the boy had taken his spot on the bed.

**-Fin-**


	13. Drabble the Thirteenth

**A/N:** Page 83, top comic strip. Yay for inspirations!

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Drabble**** the Thirteenth**

Roy finished his cup of coffee and stretched with a yawn. It was early, but it was a great time to get started on the housework. Speaking of started, wasn't it about time that Edward got his lazy bum out of bed?

Roy walked into the bedroom to find the blonde curled into a ball underneath heaps of blankets. The man smiled as he leaned over and pulled the comforter down to meet up face to face with the blonde who blinked groggily back at him.

"Morning, Edward, how about getting out of bed and help me with the housework?"

"How do you feel about getting your ass kicked this morning?" Edward growled back through narrowed eyes.

Roy quickly covered the boy back up with the blankets and turned to the door. "I get your drift."

A muffled voice came from the bed. "Bright man, really, you are."

**-Fin-**


	14. Drabble the Fourteenth

**A/N:** Page 83 again, second comic strip on the page. Drawing to a close folks! One more after this one!

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Drabble the Fourteenth**

Edward watched the man take out several items from the cupboard and placed them on the table in front of the boy. An old-fashioned can opener was handed his way and Edward hesitantly took it without a word.

"Okay, I'll be at the office for a while, and won't be returning until really late tonight, so here's some cans of soup you can make yourself for dinner or lunch."

Edward raised an eyebrow and stared at him without a word.

Roy turned a can so the label was in Ed's direction and he smirked. "You do know how to use one of those, don't you?"

Ed scowled. "Of course I do…" With that, the blonde leaped off the chair, grabbed the older man by the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to eye level. He held the can opener up to his nose and scowled. "Give me my Ramen noodles."

Roy blinked.

**-Fin-**


	15. Drabble the Fifteenth

**A/N:** So it all comes down to this, the final drabble in this very short drabble series. I enjoyed writing it when I could, and I hoped you guys and girls enjoyed reading this series which was inspired by a famous cat known as Garfield. Take some time to read the comic! You won't be disappointed! Anyway, this drabble is inspired by the one on page 30. n.n Saved the best one for last, neh?

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Garfield.

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**Drabble**** the Fifteenth**

Edward rose from his bed with a yawn and scratched his head with a blink. "What's the strange feeling that's in me today?" He climbed out of bed and grinned to the room. "I feel like giving everyone a hug today! It must be the great night of sleep I got!"

---

Edward strolled into the office and the first victim of his kindness was Riza Hawkeye, who dropped the entire stack of papers when she felt his arms wrap around her.

The next victim was Havoc, who just about ran into the wall when Edward chased after him with arms spread open and a grin as big as his arms width plastered on his face.

The third and last victim was the famous Flame Alchemist, Roy Mustang. Edward had marched up to him and was planting kisses on his gloves in an honorable way.

What the blonde had failed to notice was Riza and Havoc sneaking up behind him with a straight jacket…

---

Edward scowled at the pads that covered every inch of the room. He didn't even bother struggling.

"Hah, people don't want nice—they want consistency…I'LL REMEMBER THAT NEXT TIME YOU ASK ME FOR A FAVOR!"

**-Fin-**


End file.
